My baby, my youngest has moved out!
With all the drama, with all the tears and worry wrought nights...I'm still so sad.
I fear for her happiness, her success as a semi-adult but maybe I fear more that she doesn't need her Mom any longer.
At best, my nerves are healing with the lack of conversations, confrontations, rude comments and high pitch retorts, " I'll do it later, OK!" but I still look for the trail of dirty glasses and plates, the soiled towels on the floor and missing makeup.
Transitions in life...are they any less difficult than sudden endings?

My life cycle is in it's natural order...I'm no longer needed to be a caretaker of children. What's next is hard to determine as emotion clouds my thoughts. I naturally reach out for someone to comfort me, to fill the void. I'm starting to sense the meaning of the empty nest! Oh, how I had feathered my nest so well with six chicks, extending the time gap til I felt like an enigma. What to do with Queenie? What to do with the rest of my life?

• planted about fifty plus plants on and about my balcony, landings and walls of my new townhouse






• I joined a digital photography meet up group






• booked a kayak trip at Thanksgivings time






• volunteered to demo painting with pastels at a art night for fellow teacher






• turning Sara's room into a studio...ex bringing back my art table






• going to a jazz club tonight with art pal, Rachael

I guess I'll just have to grow...

I love you, Sara...I'll always be here for you, Mommie!