It all started with a harmless blog

Somehow and let's say karma lead me to reading a blog and then to starting my own but whatever way it all began, my life changed ? Will I be alone? What's wrong with me that I can't seem to find the right person to share my journey with? All I seem to have was questions and fear for the future!

Road trip # 1: Retreat, retreat and lick your wounds!
Fort Worth, Texas to Key West, Florida in Pinky (1993 Geo Tracker)
I was angry! I had just been dumped at the altar so to speak, well he balked after the dress was bought, the bridal shower at my elementary school, and the wedding invitations had gone out! I thought I would just die from embarrassment then the wild crazy cajun anger took over! First I handed Mike (the dirty rat) a Walmart bag with my wedding dress cut into 3" squares. It was a metaphor dear ones! Second I planned my intended honeymoon for myself, driving through Louisiana stopping in Lafayette and New Orleans (old stompin grounds from college), up the Mississippi Coast to Alabama and Finally to Key West. As the miles added up, I grew in confidence. A few flirtations on the way helped restore some feminine ego but most of my time was about the landscape and the freedom of making my own decisions. I snorkeled above a beautiful reef, sailed and generally soaked up the ocean. A frantic call from my son sent me back to the reality of responsibilities. I eventually married Mike on July 4, the next year. As you might expect, that didn't last and so I moved on.

Road Trip # 2 Rescue Daughter
Girls Road Trip to Texas Coast
Sara , my daughter was an emotional mess, no doubt about it but nothing I did made a change. Different schools, counseling and finally mental hospital stays didn't slow the undoing of my precious baby girl. I was desperate to reach her when I came up with the idea of a road trip. We bleached our hair and made a pinky swear to have fun and off we went. We did have fun, we did get lost (often), she laughed like she use to and I felt alive again. We came to camp out on the north Padre Island national park when my life took another turn.
I woke, looked out the tent to notice a new vehicle parked next to our campsite. Soon I spied a handsome young man with camera equipment taking pictures of the area including some sweet little ground squirrels in front of our tent. That's when I meet Duncan from South Africa and our three week affair began. I felt alive and beautiful again. He imparted much of his spiritual teachings, about karma, about forgiveness, about living a life without regrets. I have so much to thank Duncan for as it was the turning point of my journey. We still communicate although he is back in South Africa and not all fairy tales work out for the damsel in distress as he has moved on..

Road trip #3...First time abroad...Italy
Spring trip with 9 other art teachers to Italy
What can I say but it was miraculous that I had the money, that I got a spot on the roster and that I was in the best frame of mind to visit Italy for the first time. The new digital camera the art department had given me never left my hands as I had gotten the bug bite to photograph from Duncan as well as learning to trust again. Beautiful vistas and making a new and now best friend Mary. She and I were roommates and soon found out we had the same need for adventure and just having fun.

Road trip #4 Singapore
....to be continued...

That's No Plan

So I'm stuck, bogged down in a mire of my own making! Only took me about fifty years to muck it together and now I travel the roads, highways, interstates looking for a direction to the rest of my life.

"Where are you going, Mom?" he said. "Not exactly sure but I want to circle the U.S. and take pictures along the way", I reply. "That's No Plan!", Jeff adds quickly to show his disdain...his disapproval as a grown up son showing concern and love for his (lost her mind) mom.

Doesn't Matter! Made up my mind and backed it up with a non retreat insurance: I gave up my apartment, gave half of what I had away and packed the rest in a 10x15 storage unit. I made arrangements to stay with a teacher friend when I return in August to teach one more year at Waverly Park Elementary!

"Are you coming back?", my principal gushed out after I gleefully informed her of my summer plans. Her eyes were huge, her jaw slightly dropped and she leaned into my space for an answer. It's just like her to think of the school first. I almost laughed out loud but announced of course I would be back. Yet, inside my head, I thought....will something happen to me that will tear the threads that hold me to this place, this lifestyle...this person I no longer identify with?

There it is! I feel like a circus performer entertaining a crowd that hasn't any iota of who or what I'm all about. To find my passion for art again seems like a noble mission but it's more complex or simple than that! I just want to be me again...simply living at my own direction and yes, selfishly.

Will Pinky (my beloved Geo Tracker) be able to bring me far enough away so I can look back in the rear view mirror and want to return? To return changed inside so I can make a transition to a more meaningful life for Shara.

I'm already four weeks into it, so come follow me as I ramble about what I saw, what I thought, who I met and maybe some truths that come from being alone on a unplanned road trip.

Back to Business

Wow...just one more day of teaching, another day to tidy the room and turn in forms and I will be on vacation. I'm overwhelmed at the moment with school, moving and planning my trip but tomorrow I will get my trusty laptop for the district computer hospital...yeah! She lived and I can hardly wait to start editing the pictures I took for the last four months.
I will be checking in more often and adding a blog just for my students as I travel.

Taking a Journey

I'm ready, it's my time, my moment
to free up the bottled genie
allow the creative muse her way
explore, experiment, explode, exercise, energize__become centered.

I'm ready, it's my time to extend my heart to another
to walk alongside sharing what comes
no lies, no pretenses, no masks, no holding back__no regrets

I'm ready, it's the moment to unleash this powerful need to live life totally open_ to celebrate each blessing and honor my past

I'm ready, it's my karmic push to step out to the now!
There's this ache to embrace
that empty hollow place that holds me captive waiting for you.

To be lonely doesn't explain my predicament__
it's a false assumption that I have no one or that I'm eager to accept anyone to fill an empty chair!

I only wait for you
the one who needs no persuading _the only who accepts my quirky ways and contradictions in behavior.
You will be my last lover
my long awaited partner and companion.

I'm ready_ it's our time for the gods are drawing us nearer thru complicated and curious situations
across the miles
across a lifetime of almost_but not quite
I'm ready for that!

The Vagina Monologues of Fort Worth, Texas

Friendships Sealed Through the Arts

All for a Worthwhile Cause!

Beautiful souls blend
joyfully singing the truth
women embracing