A Change Be A'comin'

It's been sometime since I've blogged. There has been too many events in my small world. Nevertheless a change is coming upon me, I can feel it but I can't perceive what IT is!

My summer was full of intrigue, cultures I've only read about, broken romance, friendship put to the test, parenthood sheared beyond recognition and just a tiny clue of who I am or who I can be.

Now, it's back to work, teaching and reaching for that butterfly called "the learning moment"! As the classroom fills with those tiny faces, I do know who and where I belong...at that moment but when the last student crosses the threshold of my door to the outside, I feel empty again.
Why do I feel so empty? How could a woman with six children of her own "who obviously love her", an excepting family "who also loves her", friends, colleagues and the various interested guy or two who wish to remain in her life.........WHY? Why do I feel as though something is missing?

I don't know how to explain it any other way but a since of loss or a forgotten element in my world. If I continue the way I am now, I will surely lose interest and end my days weakly recognizing a gap.

I think, I've finally run out of excuses, run out of time to procrastinate and put it off till the time is perfect. The time to finish my lifelong dream to be an artist in the truest since of the word. I want to pop on a purple beret and swagger about a studio cluttered with the smell of paint and wet canvases. On the walls, I would see photographs of places and people and objects I captured in my adventures. Drawings of my children, their children and their children piled in corners. Things made from clay, from fiber, from wood, from metal and my imagination fills any space available. I want to create!