From the first flutter of my eyelashes, I thought of Cookie. I had hoped for some kind of message of farewell, kiss my _____ or something but silence or in this scenario no pixels on the monitor!
For someone so bold on the beach it is curious that he is reluctant to leave with a few kind words. It will adamantly leave the whole affair as a bump in the night. Ships is the reference he used and yes I found it offensive as I took that explanation as guilt free experimental sex. Just bumping dear, no way I can be expected to conjure up real feelings.
But this bumping does cause skid marks, whether they be the kind that adds character or the kind that becomes a continual reminder of some unpleasant mishap.
Duncan, did lead with that disclaimer as to say, "Mam, we can try this procedure to save the leg but there really is very little chance of it working!" Me, I thought...maybe it would work.
In the light of the day, is the difference between an affair and a love affair ones perception of the end result? Is it a mind, set at the get go? Is it fate, karma?
I believe that if Duncan and I had that special caring for each other, we would have found a way! It was never doomed from the beginning but in his heart and mind set. This isn't a day of little wooden ships making passage to continents within months nor am I a woman without income or the ability to travel the miles that separate. The only ocean I could not transverse was his emotional sea between us...he just wasn't THAT into me! Ouch!
I've got a huge skid mark on my ego and once more another learning curve cast my direction, this time via South Africa. At least, I'm going international!
the Queesn says: forgive the sardonic humor, it helps mask the embarrassment and sadness
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