I can't sleep. So I've decided to make some changes to my blog while watching mindless TV.
It's been three nights since I talked with Jimmy but I have not been able to move on mentally. Strange how a few misplaced words can rattle around in your head, repeating themselves over and over again. Not unlike a kitten fascinated with a single bit of fluff, I seem frozen upon that defining moment, looking for an explanation...redemption from fault or at least a rise of anger in my chest. There is no reason for me to be stuck in neutral unless I want to draw drama to me.
What did he say about not over thinking things? Yes, why can't it just be what it is and go on without trying to make more of it! So what he said was no more than emotions fueled with drugs and alcohol and my being the perfect whipping boy. I did put myself there so why whine! In the morning, I'll move on...
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