That's No Plan

So I'm stuck, bogged down in a mire of my own making! Only took me about fifty years to muck it together and now I travel the roads, highways, interstates looking for a direction to the rest of my life.

"Where are you going, Mom?" he said. "Not exactly sure but I want to circle the U.S. and take pictures along the way", I reply. "That's No Plan!", Jeff adds quickly to show his disdain...his disapproval as a grown up son showing concern and love for his (lost her mind) mom.

Doesn't Matter! Made up my mind and backed it up with a non retreat insurance: I gave up my apartment, gave half of what I had away and packed the rest in a 10x15 storage unit. I made arrangements to stay with a teacher friend when I return in August to teach one more year at Waverly Park Elementary!

"Are you coming back?", my principal gushed out after I gleefully informed her of my summer plans. Her eyes were huge, her jaw slightly dropped and she leaned into my space for an answer. It's just like her to think of the school first. I almost laughed out loud but announced of course I would be back. Yet, inside my head, I thought....will something happen to me that will tear the threads that hold me to this place, this lifestyle...this person I no longer identify with?

There it is! I feel like a circus performer entertaining a crowd that hasn't any iota of who or what I'm all about. To find my passion for art again seems like a noble mission but it's more complex or simple than that! I just want to be me again...simply living at my own direction and yes, selfishly.

Will Pinky (my beloved Geo Tracker) be able to bring me far enough away so I can look back in the rear view mirror and want to return? To return changed inside so I can make a transition to a more meaningful life for Shara.

I'm already four weeks into it, so come follow me as I ramble about what I saw, what I thought, who I met and maybe some truths that come from being alone on a unplanned road trip.