Yearning for something or some event for a decade or more...then as the moment draws near you feel a slight queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach! Will something or someone keep this dream from happening? Will I screw it up somehow? Will I hype myself up so much that nothing can come close to satisfying the fantasy I have built up in my mind?
And so goes the ramblings of an overactive mind who thinks too much! Surely yes, I will be on a plane to Italy on Saturday and of course, yes, I will encounter some disappointments but now is the time to plan ahead mentally for my first major trip overseas.
Living in the moment is something I want to strive for. To live in the moment, I have to become aware of my ego's sabotage and the past behaviors repeating themselves. Eckhart Tolle explains that the ego thinks, speaks and acts in an unawakened state that is, like on auto pilot we go through life responding to stimulus in dysfunctional ways. My brain, mindset whispering to me that the dream is somehow going to be thwarted is just that....brain whisperings, nothing more. My first step to a new consciousness is becoming aware that the thoughts are just ramblings and not predictions. To have that awareness is to let go of fearful thoughts and feelings that has plagued my life up to now. Breaking up old egoic mind patterns would be difficult work if that was my target as Tolle explains "Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness." Just being aware of the false messages you receive in your thinking will be enough to change the way you react to them. To know that I know things are the way they should be is a comfort in itself. Don't take the ego too seriously, he writes...everyone has one to struggle with it, the ego isn't personal. Those thoughts aren't who we are, just thoughts!
Sooooo, my fears of failure are shouting out to me to react as in the past with much obsessing , worry and endless planning to control every possible problem scenario! No more! It's just my ego flaring up in the ninth hour and I can just smile to myself recognizing that it's nothing but thoughts.
Wow, I think I feel like packing a few things!
Wow, I think I feel like packing a few things!
8 comments:
Dear Shara,
That book sounds great..I need to get one..but i don't how i will try to find time to read :)
look at me writing at 6am...i was up from 3 am...
so don't panic everything will be fine...packing is not that hard. and if you forget to pack something you can buy that..
so relax and enjoy all of your days..
♥ & ((hugs))
bindi
hey there - hope the packing is going well, good luck if we dont chat before you leave... one tip whilst traveling - YOU are not who you are when abroad - be whomever you want to be - dare to live wildly - dare to love passionately and above all dare to be yourself - no regrets - no losses - just have an absolute ball - Love, hugs and cuddles - Duncan
Hello sweet Bindi,
You days are so long! I forget how long it can be when you babes are young. It will passed so quickly, so treasure each moment as I know you do already. I have only allowed myself the two cases in the picture for packing. I'm determined to be disciplined about dragging too much stuff. Still! I may have to buy toothpaste...lol
Love you,
Shara
Dear Cookie,
Dare to be me, yes I like that and you would be pleased to know that that is happening more and more...right here in the states. Just seems to be happening on it's own since I was unwrapped about 8 or 9 months ago! Whatever or whoever...I plan to enjoy the moment in the moment. No regrets!
my love flows across the miles,
Shara
p.s. don't forget, you've been tagged!
all will be well
keep moving
have a great time
cheers
Well, just don't forget to pack the camera and film. For goodness sakes, have a wonderful time and be careful.
Cheers Floots,
I'm much calmer today. Trying to gather some art from my students to give to elementary italian students I will be visiting. My students hope to have italian pen pals. I'm a very fortunate woman to work in an environment where you experience the best in human behavior.
thanks Cecile,
Yes the camera and a sketch pad...more important than a change of clothing! I'm a bit like a six year old the week before Christmas.
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