Christmas Blues

It's not unusual to feel depressed or sad during the holidays. Statistically the numbers of suicide attempts and deaths rise during this the most joyous time of the year.
Why so glum newly flashing red head , you might say?
I'm feeling the Christmas Blues in a tremendous way. I intend to fight the desire to climb in a warm soft bed and sleep pass the dreaded day. By the family law, I must join the family for the holidays and it is with this I'm at odds. You see, I don't fit in anymore...or that's my perception..that I'm an odd woman out. Another divorce and I'm without the other half!
Surely that shouldn't be so hard as last Christmas I was alone but I suppose when you have been a love junkie all your life, it is to be expected. Strange way to relate it but it's probably very accurate as I have always belonged to someone my entire life. I should change the pattern to include belonging to myself first!
My New Year's choice should be to make a path for myself and only for myself. So how does one change from being a people pleaser to a me pleaser...
.maybe...do something completely selfish, only for me like this upcoming trip to Italy! Yes, I think that is the start. Maybe the rest will come to me soon.