I got this tattoo!

Most everyone has a summer to remember, an adventure that they talk about for years and then there are events that restructure your entire future.

So here I am with a new tattoo above my bottom that clearly speaks to me that I have crossed the line of no return. Trying to make sense of oneself can be daunting and dealing with the emotions is no easy task either.

Why did I go through a hour or more of pain for a permanent symbol on my skin? Of course my family was shocked ,then again....that's Shara always doing the unexpected. Even I was a bit shocked at myself, but also a bit proud that I had done it...not a tear...What a woman! Shaking things up at 50plus is clearly the statement I wanted to make.

No more will I follow or be lead down a path I don't believe in or feel passionate about! It's been a long road of meager meals when everyone else seem to be having a banquet.

In November of 06, I knew something important was going to happen in my life but I wasn't quite sure how or what it was. I had new hope, something I didn't expect when I left my third husband.

With three opportunities for a soul mate and it still doesn't work you might start looking to yourself for explanations. Do bad things happen to good people? Can you be in the right place at the wrong time....three times? Do you repeat mistakes because it's easier than stepping out in courage? or can you forgive yourself for the past and move forward!

Clearly the most important decision I made this summer was following my intuition's about a man on a beach. This one event has spun me round to face so many things I had forgotten .

This sweet man made me realize just how fortunate I am. I was so focused on my past pain that I was missing the joys and accomplishments of my life. Rolling around in the sad tales of who done me wrong instead of seeing the boundless love I have from my six children and immediate family. Duncan listened to stories of my parents and their relationship then pointed out what a wonderful childhood I had to see parents who clearly loved each other. What a cathartic moment that was!

My mindset made a 360 those two weeks we spent together alone in my third floor apartment getting to know each other. For the first time in my adult life, I felt comfortable and free to be who I am without fear of reprisals or shaming. I've never met anyone like Duncan nor do I ever expect to. He has helped free me from my past to look to the future with such joy. He has reopened my heart and I have given it away to him. I love him deeply, desperately and without any regrets.

What's ahead? Dunno! ...but I have such a good feeling about my future now!

thanks Cookie...