and so it is!
you have blown me off again, you heartless bastard!
my ear hears the rings...once, twice, three times
your eyes see my name printed in lights upon the tiny screen
a expected click...
the dreaded recorded monologue begins, committed to memory!
"hi, it's me-I've decided that you are too insignificant and therefore unimportant to talk to...whatever passed between us before doesn't matter. For whatever reasons, I will keep that to myself. I have decided to blow you off again!
you can twist & turn in the wind trying to make some sense of it all but I'm too much of a coward and selfish to be up front and honest with you.
besides...you have this coming to you to believe what I said was true.
you've been screwed...I screwed you once more!"
for every unreturned phone call
every broken promise
the compliment based on deceptive needs
manipulation or emotional carelessness....
do we ever charge up so much debt that fate retaliates?
is there a karmic tally sheet somewhere?
contemplate this!
a cosmic data base
row by row
column under column
listing our purely selfless and openly selfish acts towards others!
by not acting, do I commit an emotional moray in today's society!
depends on what side of the action your ear is? Isn't it!
Waiting for the voice, you are at their mercy-
wanting to be acknowledged, just be listened to,
to be granted a sense of worthiness is excruciating and painful.
on the other side of the receiver-
upon their self appointed throne is the power to control others.
he/she holds a thumb up or down to decide who gets to live another day in the arena of relationships.
Nero played his lyre,
Brutus called in his fellow gangsters to dispatch his beloved Cesar!
betrayal is brutal business that drains precious energy from a pure heart.
careless and with little or no regret the weaker and vulnerable heart is vanquished
the sweetest spirit gives up it's unfulfilled dreams;
replaces them with armor for the next unsuspecting soul.
a foe is never more dangerous to our undoing than a friend with no conscious or integrity!
be brave my friend...speak slow and softly...but speak nevertheless-
for it is, YOUR SOUL, you protect from becoming a cold hearted bastard!
5 comments:
Wow...sound like what OnePic did to all of us.
Hey Suzanne,
Hits alittle closer to home. I needed to vent last night so out it came. I feel much better as I usually hold things in and try to repair a failing friendship at the cost to my self respect. I told my sweetie from South Africa, Duncan that I plan on reading it at the open mic poetry night. The coldhearted bastard works there! Duncan says give it to 'em...but I not for drama scenes in the open...will give him the chance to read it first/them decide!
Just so tired of being run over, backed up on and run over again! lol
Do you think...it's too harsh?
deep breath,
Shara
Hey Suzanne,
Hits alittle closer to home. I needed to vent last night so out it came. I feel much better as I usually hold things in and try to repair a failing friendship at the cost to my self respect. I told my sweetie from South Africa, Duncan that I plan on reading it at the open mic poetry night. The coldhearted bastard works there! Duncan says give it to 'em...but I not for drama scenes in the open...will give him the chance to read it first/them decide!
Just so tired of being run over, backed up on and run over again! lol
Do you think...it's too harsh?
deep breath,
Shara
No, I don't think it's too harsh. It's honest.
XO Suzanne
Hey Suzanne,
As it turned out....I didn't read it aloud but read something else instead. I did confront my friend who was so involved in feeling his own pain...didn't even remember making a lunch date. He's been so depressed that returning calls seem almost impossible.
Note: He apologized humbly I might add and has actively made effort to text and call lately. Glad I listened to my gut before releasing the torrent of P.O....lol
BUT...I found a method of letting go even before conforting him...so yeah for me!
Love ya,
Shara
Post a Comment